winter.
It's midnight. The grease from the Christmas eve latkes is settling over, well, everything. The kids are in bed. Things are relatively clean. And quiet.
These last four months have been so intense in these parts. The whole residency thing remains fairly similar to the way they show it on the TV (save that my days are not one hour long, scrubs don't make anyone look good, and sex in call rooms is largely unappealing). I don't keep up with sports or video games or reading novels or celebrity gossip. In fact, the only 3 topics of conversation that remain to me are my children, my job, and religion. So you'll excuse me please that I kinda missed that whole occupy movement that seemed to flit at the edge of my attention this fall. Having had two days off, I have tried to look outside my box a bit. And look! the world is still as pretty.
All eight of us went to the Christmas eve service tonight. Four women, four children, part Christian, part Jewish, part godless heathens. Most of us still covered in oil, or flour, or both. None of us with indoor shoes. Some of us with matching socks. The littlest read hannukah books through the service, the oldest stitched a geeky pillowcase for her geeky boyfriend, and we all held our breath every time LittleE took off into the sanctuary, not knowing who we might need to apologize to, or if we would have to extricate him from the baptismal font again...
We are fumbling through two holidays, and I have no idea if we are doing it well or disastrously. We sang Silent Night. We lit candles. We made jelly donuts, and wrapped presents -- three for each of us, just like the Magi. There are stockings, homemade, with oranges in them. And we never did find good candy canes.
Did I prepare for Christmas? I have no idea.
Can you prepare for a baby? Does anyone really have any idea what they are getting into when they fall in love or become parents?
How can I be any more ready for the incarnation than I was for loving my family? Preposterous.
And then I read this post: http://deeperstory.com/
And on the heels of that, I found this video. Love
Which is old. And not about Christmas, and entirely about it.
"the Lover knows that more for you is more for me too. If you love somebody, their happiness is your happiness. Their pain is your pain. Your sense of self expands to include other beings. That's love. Love is the expansion of the Self to include the Other. And that's a different kind of revolution. There is no one to fight. There is no evil to fight. There is no Other in this revolution".
So I will go to bed. And welcome Love.
Merry Christmas.
These last four months have been so intense in these parts. The whole residency thing remains fairly similar to the way they show it on the TV (save that my days are not one hour long, scrubs don't make anyone look good, and sex in call rooms is largely unappealing). I don't keep up with sports or video games or reading novels or celebrity gossip. In fact, the only 3 topics of conversation that remain to me are my children, my job, and religion. So you'll excuse me please that I kinda missed that whole occupy movement that seemed to flit at the edge of my attention this fall. Having had two days off, I have tried to look outside my box a bit. And look! the world is still as pretty.
All eight of us went to the Christmas eve service tonight. Four women, four children, part Christian, part Jewish, part godless heathens. Most of us still covered in oil, or flour, or both. None of us with indoor shoes. Some of us with matching socks. The littlest read hannukah books through the service, the oldest stitched a geeky pillowcase for her geeky boyfriend, and we all held our breath every time LittleE took off into the sanctuary, not knowing who we might need to apologize to, or if we would have to extricate him from the baptismal font again...
We are fumbling through two holidays, and I have no idea if we are doing it well or disastrously. We sang Silent Night. We lit candles. We made jelly donuts, and wrapped presents -- three for each of us, just like the Magi. There are stockings, homemade, with oranges in them. And we never did find good candy canes.
Did I prepare for Christmas? I have no idea.
Can you prepare for a baby? Does anyone really have any idea what they are getting into when they fall in love or become parents?
How can I be any more ready for the incarnation than I was for loving my family? Preposterous.
And then I read this post: http://deeperstory.com/
And on the heels of that, I found this video. Love
Which is old. And not about Christmas, and entirely about it.
"the Lover knows that more for you is more for me too. If you love somebody, their happiness is your happiness. Their pain is your pain. Your sense of self expands to include other beings. That's love. Love is the expansion of the Self to include the Other. And that's a different kind of revolution. There is no one to fight. There is no evil to fight. There is no Other in this revolution".
So I will go to bed. And welcome Love.
Merry Christmas.
Labels: chosen family, godstuff
posted by lothyn at 24.12.11
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